That Gets My Goat (Yoga)

September 21, 2017

My Bestie is a yoga instructor – and yes she’s impossibly fit and bendy and glows with good health. It makes me SICK quite frankly. (She’s the one married to the smokin’ hot Italian who also an amazing cook – so unfair). I can’t remember the type of yoga she teaches exactly but it’s quite dynamic – I really enjoy it. Sometimes in class I go into my own style of yoga where I use this intense technique to cleanse my body and mind to break the shackles that bind me to our physical existence but Agatha discourages my sleeping in her class. It is important to stress she’s not one of those Yoga Nazis who takes their class really really seriously. I’ve been thrown out/evicted from yoga classes in the past for laughing at people farting. True. I have.

I remember the very first yoga class I ever went to I thought the instructor said “Numb Arse Day” at the end of it!

And there’s nothing harder than trying to hold a laugh in, like when you’re in Mass and something funny happens. That’s how I met my boyfriend of several years. I was at a friend’s wedding, trying really hard not to laugh at an elderly relatives unfortunately timed and very loud passing of wind, making matters worse I was sitting next to a very juvenile friend of mine who was in silent stitches. It was right at this moment when a tall and very handsome guy wearing a red tartan tie caught my eye, and as he watched my fit of mirth, gave me a mischievous grin and winked at me. Cheeky bastard.
Always was – still is 20 years later.

But I digress. Back to the yoga.

There are heaps of different types of yoga – I won’t list them all as will be here all day, but as with many things – diseases spring to mind – different strains keep popping up.

In addition to the traditional kinds there are a heap of new varieties for yogis to try including Cannabis Yoga – this is for people who take medical marijuana for health issues, and while they aren’t allowed to smoke weed in class, they are encouraged to get high before they come to class. Imagine trying not to laughing in that class? Good luck with that (and pass the Cheezels).

You’ve probably seen stories on Aerial yoga – it was all the rage a few years back along with Paddleboard yoga. There’s a flyer in the park near the CityCat I catch for Silent disco Yoga. One yoga I do like the sound of is Tantrum yoga, where you throw a fit complete with screaming and yelling and who could forget Nude yoga? Bbbbblllleeeerrrrrkkkkkkk! Can you think of anything more revolting? I would definitely need to be high to attend that class.

So now there’s goat yoga – I kid you not! It doesn’t sound too baaaaaaaaaad. (See what I did there?) It’s so hot right now and I for one, Dear Readers am not surprised.

I’m a huge fan of the goat. Huge. Always have been. I remember going out on the back the road to Junction Hill to Mrs Long’s goat farm with my Dad when I was a little girl. When I was born at the turn of 1800’s due to my lactose intolerance, I had to be raised on goats’ milk, thus beginning my life-long love of goats. They are truly wonderful animals. Everything they do and produce is excellent. Goats cheese, goats soap, cashmere and now goat yoga.

It’s a relatively new form of yoga, but let’s not forget yoga has been around for thousands of years – some scholars say possibly as long as 10,000 years! If we can have nude yoga and goat yoga, I am going to advocate for the following forms of yoga to be introduced; Burrito yoga, Champagne yoga, Lounge yoga and Movie yoga.

Numb Arse Day.

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Alexandria Bernard
With a successful 20+ year career in media and communications, Alex’s media portfolio includes contracts as a radio and television presenter (612 ABC, 4BC, Channel 9 and Network Ten) and as a feature writer for bmag and Brisbane Times.

Alex's voice and face may be familiar to you from her voiceover and television commercial work. She has been featured in national radio and TV advertising campaigns, corporate videos and has been a regular MC for major events.