Jingle MY Bells!

How to stay cool, calm and collected this Christmas and Jingle your bells to your own tune!

Christmas is almost upon us with all it’s joy and wonder.

What does your heart desire?

Perfume, jewellery, laughter, good food (preferably cooked by someone else) and most of all, a “peaceful” Christmas table!

But the reality is perhaps more like this….comprised of momentary merriment, forced laughter, mediocre food (cooked by yours truly)….hic-up…..drunkenness, family feuds, a house full of half-eaten, carpet-trodden treats and a Christmas table divided like opposing State of Origin teams!

Christmas can be chaos at the best of times.

How on earth do we ever survive with our sanity in check?

Let’s face it – Santa ain’t real and Mrs Claus ain’t going to turn up in our kitchen on Christmas morning to cook us a feast. And no amount of wishing in the world is going to send swearing Old Uncle Ralph into the deep blue yonder on Santa’s sleigh.

So this year I’ve made a pact with myself to not let anyone else Jingle my bells! I’ll be jingling my own thanks very much – and they’ll be ringing to my very own tune of cool, calm and collected! If Christmas, Santa, Mrs Claus and the family ain’t going to bring me joy, I’ll package it up and deliver it to myself.

And this is how I’ll do it. Get a load of this Christmas Holiday Survival List:

• Thou will not enter into family feuds (thou will sneak away to the kitchen pantry where the good wine is hidden and take a long lingering gulp).
• Thou will find time to relax and let the mess GO.
• Thou shall smile and nod, despite wanting to clobber cousin Joe.
• Thou will say “thank you” and forgive Grandpa Bob for buying the kids toy guns (again).
• Thou will find 15 minutes every day to sit quietly on the patio with a large (did I say LARGE glass of wine) – it’s called liquid meditation.
• Thou will spend time with much-loved friends to make up for the forced family farce that is Christmas (ok perhaps thou will try NOT to be such a GRINCH).
• Thou will soak up the cheerful Christmas atmosphere and the Weetbix with copious amounts of Rum – to make the BEST Rum-balls known to man (and thou will secretly stash 5 in Nana’s dessert).
• Most importantly, thou will ENJOY time with the cherubs, the babes in arms, the lights in our lives. For that is where true joy is found.
• We will remember with fondness, those who are no long here with us to snigger at the shenanigans Saint Nicholas delivers at this time every year.
• And for good measure, thou will consume a Tequila shot seconds before everyone arrives for Christmas lunch.

Merry Christmas to all.

Take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.

After all, Christmas only comes but once a year (thank god, she silently whispers).