I’m worried about the future…

May 9, 2016

I don’t like the idea of a driverless car myself. That’s why I don’t have a chauffeur

I’m worried about us—as a society—that before too long we, as humans, will no longer be capable of doing much of anything. Let me give you some insights, and yes, brace yourself.

Glimpses of the future

Shoelaces:

Nike announced recently they will start selling self-lacing runners, the HyperAdapt 1.0. You put them on, your heel hits a sensor and the system will automatically tighten. Then there are two buttons on the side to tighten and loosen which you adjust until it’s the right fit.

Nike says that in the future, it won’t even be manual. The sensor could tell when the user needs to have the shoe tighter or looser. I suspect over time we will lose the ability to tie our own shoelaces altogether, like speaking Sanskrit or using a Walkman. You will only see shoes tied with laces in movies or on the stage as part of period costume pieces.

How expensive are these shoes going to be? Guess it doesn’t matter because over time, like mobile phones, they will be affordable and everyone will have them.

Pizza:

Domino’s Pizza has launched its world first robot delivery service. It kicked off a fleet of delivery robots right here in Queensland, with off-road trials in suburban areas in Brisbane just over two weeks ago.

The DRU (Domino’s Robotic Unit) can travel off road, on bike paths, roads and footpaths at roughly 18km/hr. delivering pizza hot from the robotic oven. Mind you, this pizza was generated, along with the delivery details, when the customer put in a code from their mobile app. It also has technology to deter drunken buffoons from trying to mug it for its precious doughy cargo.

Is anyone else thinking of that robot from Rocky IV – the one Rocky gave Paulie as a birthday present?

Driverless cars:

Driverless cars are also not that far off; they will be on our roads by 2020 according to Volvo. In fact South Australia has just passed legislation that will allow manufacturers to test them on their roads, once they have approval from the state transport minister. Good one South Australia! Way to get in front of the curve with this booming future industry. SA will make a killing with driverless cars driving you straight to the Barossa off the plane.

Yeah… I don’t like the idea of a driverless car myself. That’s why I don’t have a chauffeur. Although I wish they’d been around for my Aunty Veronica.  She drove with one foot on the break and the other foot on the accelerator and had poor levels of concentration. She was married to a lovely man, Uncle Bernie, who was a funeral director and it was commonly joked that when Aunty Vron got behind the wheel there was a good chance her husband’s business would improve! Terrible driver!

Can we expect future festivals?

You know how they have medieval tournaments? Caboolture has an enormous one each July – The Abbey Medieval Festival; well, it’s got to be experiencing an upswing in popularity given people can’t get enough of Game of Thrones and Vikings on SBS is also rating very well.

The Medieval Festival has much on offer; re-enactment camps, jousting and falconry, sizzling meats and fine mead. Who can say no to a goblet of fine mead? Not me Your Grace!

What about future festival celebrating the bygone era of now and our recent past? How would we market it to the masses? The Late Last Century Festival – see people lace their own shoes, playing records and cassettes, hear stories of people meeting face to face, collect your own food from stalls and enjoy a shandy. I’d go to that festival.

What are you excited about or dreading re the future?

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Alexandria Bernard

With a successful 20+ year career in media and communications, Alex’s media portfolio includes contracts as a radio and television presenter (612 ABC, 4BC, Channel 9 and Network Ten) and as a feature writer for bmag and Brisbane Times.


Alex’s voice and face may be familiar to you from her voiceover and television commercial work. She has been featured in national radio and TV advertising campaigns, corporate videos and has been a regular MC for major events.