Part of the dictionary definition of ‘girlie’ is: “featuring nude or scantily clad young women.” I can assure you that none of my girlie nights out have succumbed to this level – phew!
But on a more serious note, I began writing this article on the girlie network before I read Amanda Olssen’s article on She Brisbane about Allison Baden-Clay’s best friend.
It was Allison’s best friend’s fight for the real truth that had an impact on me – the incredible loyalty by Kerry-Anne Walker as she strived tirelessly to seek truth and justice, knowing what must have happened behind the scenes. It deeply touched my heart.
Who is your best friend?
I began to think of how important our female friends, are and I realised I couldn’t pick just one. Apart from my two children, who have been my close companions since I was divorced an eternity ago, I found it far too difficult to select.
I have lived in three Australian States and formed deep friendships with a number of unique individuals. Each one means a great deal to me and all are special. To select one would wound the others – each dear, individual friends.
The girlie network
So, I have come to the conclusion that my ‘best friend’ is my girlie network – it is my groups of female friends that keep me going. They are the ones who either drive me crazy, calm me down, guide me back on track or tell me how it is – with no bullshit. They care about me and I care about them.
I refer to ‘groups’ of friends as I am lucky to have many and let’s face it, Baby Boomers have been around for a while to gather friends! My groups are varied, and at times opposing. It can become a balancing act but I would never trade this off. Every group is important.
I have been lucky enough to form friendships at work, through my interests such as writing, dancing, singing, studying, learning a language, sport, personal training, and through travel or social outings.
My friendships have developed from mutual interests—a common denominator and a passion that we shared—it keeps you going, keeps you young and gives you a sense of belonging.
Acknowledge the differences
However there are some trade-offs. I once tried to get all my girlie groups together socially but I have come to realise that it doesn’t always work out this way.
Each group has its own individual vibe or bond with me, but the bond does not always naturally work between each group where I am the link.
Also, the groups may not want to be connected as they don’t have the same common denominator.
As I reflect on my experiences it has always been a friend or group of friends, mostly female, who jump in to support me. They may not realise the significance. It can be something quite simple that makes a big difference, such as a text message for a quick drink after work. You throw a bit of lippy on and off you go.
The girlie network appears to play a more significant role for single women rather than women in a partnership. Psychologist may call this sublimation, it can only be positive.
Women in partnerships are less reliant on the girlie network. They still belong, however it is not such a priority unless they are in an unhappy or uncertain stage of their relationship. We girls understand this and are ready and waiting.
10 important points about the girlie network:
- The girlie network can be vital for your well-being at any age;
- Acknowledge the girls either keep you sane or drive you insane but will still be there;
- Don’t have expectations – because you get on well with the girls doesn’t mean, they will get on with each other;
- It is a two-way street – you have to give and take;
- Be there for each other wherever you are;
- The girlie network offers great support if ‘the partner’ lets you down;
- Understand there is always at least one friend from one of the groups who has the ability to drag you out of your desire be a recluse;
- Forgiveness is imperative, even if you don’t forget;
- It is your choice if you want the girlie network; and,
- You are dead for a long time, appreciate what you have now!
So go to it, organise that girlie catch-up. It’s good for the soul.
Do you have a best friend or girl network that supports you?